Encourage Me, I’m Young Empowers Boys for Positive Futures

Calvin Mann was working in a Ferndale, Michigan, child care center in 1992 when he recognized a stark truth: broadly speaking, boys are removed from education, even at the preschool level. Worse yet, the disparity between Black boys and their white counterparts is notable.

According to research from 2020, Black children are four times more likely than white children to be suspended or expelled from school by age 9 — and, by the same age, 37% of Black boys report having been suspended or expelled, compared to 10% of white boys.

Surrounded by young children, Mann realized the importance of parenting — fathering, particularly — for a child’s positive outcome. He created a goal to support the father-son dynamic through his nonprofit called Encourage Me, I’m Young (EMIY).

From a strong mental health perspective, Mann, who serves as president and founder of EMIY, says boys benefit from a father’s active presence. “Boys who don’t have their father to participate in the early process, cognitively, are impacted,” he says. “The daughter is too, but the boy is impacted more when he has no example in his home.”

Simply put, “society does not take care of its males,” Mann asserts. “If we’re not gladiators or sports athletes or inventors, just being an ordinary man is difficult, and boys see this. This is why, in my opinion, the ages of 5-11 being a suicidal issue for boys is a parenting issue.”

The “average male,” says Mann, feels as if the world no longer accepts them for who they are. Worse still, “our society tells black males that they’re solely responsible for murder in America. And that’s not true. The statistics show otherwise, but we don’t talk about that.” From news media to cop shows, the message is criminals are Black.

From a very young age, Black boys and their sense of self are shaped by these messages, to the point that many 15-year-olds don’t expect to still be alive by age 18, says Mann.

‘The boy in our work is so important’

Through EMIY, Mann works to help boys see themselves as future men — who become husbands and then fathers — and recognize their value to their sons. “That’s why the boy in our work is so important,” he says. “To get the parents to 98% involvement and the understanding that there are things you have to do. You can’t get in the way of a boy becoming a man. You want him to be healthy, but you want him to have character and responsibility.”

EMIY also focuses on fathers who are not able to see their sons and are suffering as a result. “They can come and we can put them in a mentoring situation and watch them. Another kid who is not getting fathering can get fathering from them. It will help them and in turn, they have a better approach for how to deal with their children. That’s why we target fathers in our mentoring program,” he says.

These fathers participate in the EMIY Future Leaders Program, a 14-week, 28-session peer mentoring program for boys ages 8-13 that focuses on character pillars, financial literacy and respect. The boys also learn and actively practice mental health-supporting activities like mindful breathing.

“The breathing circles have turned these young men into peace. In all these years, I’ve never had a fight in my program,” Mann says, adding that what could be hostility is instead “I’m sorry,” and “Excuse me.” Directly after their breathing circle, the young men talk about their week — starting with good news. “When good news is the first thing, it teaches you cognitively to train your mind to let positive thoughts be your first thoughts.”

Whole-family participation

Parents, too, have a responsibility for the full support of the EMIY programs. A recent move toward a small participation fee ensures that all family members have buy-in. “So now, when you have to invest a little money and when you come into our mentor program, you’re signing up to do exactly what we ask you to do as a parent,” he says. This includes at-home evaluations so parents can see the change in the household dynamic.

“By the end of the program, our young men are speaking, talking, saying excuse me. They’re acting out the pillars,” he says, offering a recent example where the participants were challenged on one particular day to be as kind as possible. “Your job is to go to school, make sure you say good morning to your teacher, greet them nice and loud, and offer to help. And all I wanted was feedback from the reactions to their kindness.”

In 2024, EMIY will launch Reading IS Life, a literacy program for boys ages 3-7, which is part of a larger program called Boy Steps.

When young men come to EMIY but don’t have a participating father, Mann steps up. “I’ve surrogate parented hundreds of boys over the 39 years. I got them. We’re going to put them in the right thriving situations,” he says, adding that in 39 years, none of the boys has gone to jail and none has died by suicide. “From the mental health aspects, our boys are thriving.”

What EMIY needs more of

“We are now at a growth point in our work where we need more people. We need more funding. We need more resources. But we need more people to buy into family restoration through the boy,” Mann says.

From EMIY’s annual Respect Day to a fundraiser pancake breakfast, to the Smash Suicide Campaign, there are many ways people can participate and help improve the lives of Black boys and help fathers reach their fullest potential.

Learn more about all of the programs EMIY supports by visiting emiyworld.com.